Life | Blogging Breaks, Finishing my Degree & Fatigue
In that short space of time, the 34 days of my life I have been off the grid I have handed in my last two essays I ever plan to write - totaling over 5,000 words - I spent three days in Liverpool attending the national NUS conference and 1) realised what a beautiful city it is and 2) came back with a bag full of new opinions. I have planned what I'm going to do with my immediate life after university, handed in my 44 page dissertation on Social Media, Life Satisfaction and Self-Esteem and sat my penultimate exam. I also dyed my hair ginger. And two lovely people have interviewed me, which you can read: here: Meet the Hull third year with more Youtube views than you (for the Tab - thanks Leona you lovely person, you!) and below (on Darren's Online Marketing Facebook Page). It's safe to say I've been busy.
As I've been mentioning for a while now, here is the first part of my interview with Charley Ivill who is the owner of...
The concluding part 2 of my interview with Charley Ivill owner of Rambling of a Beauty Blogger.Again, let us crack on...
But throughout all of that I have been tired, unbelievably so. I have been so tired I have to have a nap most days, I can't go out and party with my friends until the wee hours or have a week packed full of activities. I'm not being a spoil-sport, I'm not trying to avoid you. Sometimes I get so tired it's difficult to think, to speak clearly, to spell. The closest thing I can liken it to is that I feel like you probably do when you go to bed, all day long.
At first I was pretty sure it was me, university is stressful and I have a busy schedule with university work, a social life, a job, blogging, yup. It had to be me. I thought this for about two years - hoping it would end with my degree - until I had a minor breakdown some point in those last 34 days in which I realised I could not do this anymore. Day to day functioning was becoming a major problem. I could manage a few busy days but I'd have to pay with it with the rest of my week.
So I turned to my friends, my parents, anyone who I'd been close to and they all said that they felt that way too (doing their degree) or didn't recall me ever mentioning being this tired, despite the fact I'd slowly become a recluse and a slave to my zzz... No one believed that anything was wrong with me. Including the doctor who left me reeling after telling me there was once this girl who wanted to get out of her exams so she lied about being ill, but he was sure that wasn't me - his tone implied otherwise.
It was a horrible feeling to have, that because 90% of my blood tests had come back negative I was being accused of lying or overexaggerating and I wondered briefly if this is what it was like to have a mental illness (ever the drama queen). The only person who didn't make me feel like I was slowly losing my marbles was my boyfriend who reassuringly told me that yes, I had been saying I was tired all last year too.
Fast forward a week and on the very same day as I handed in my dissertation I turned out to be vitamin D deficient, which is a known cause of fatigue along with a bunch of other nasties if left untreated. And I swear if I hear one more joke about being a vampire or spending more time in the sun I will punch the wisecracker who comes up with it.
I'm now on medication for it - otherwise known as the "cute, blue ones" as said by my pharmaceutical godddess of a best friend - and though I'm still waiting to feel better - which will hopefully be in a few months down the road - it's good to feel that I'm not crazy and I have some control.
Gosh this post really turned into a ramble didn't it? I suppose I have to live up to my name once in a while... So that's where I've been these past 34 days. I'm not going to apologise for not being here, every blogger deserves a vacation once in a while. And it may be a couple more weeks before you see me again whilst I finish up with my degree, my job and moving house. But I promise I will be back. Sometime soon. And then I'll have all the time in the world.